17 weeks - The Onion

Whew! It's been a while! I think up loads of stuff I want to post about... while lying in bed, or trapped in the lobby during one of her classes, or somewhere else, unable to type it up or post it!

Week 17:
Average baby size: 5.1", 5.9oz. Or roughly the size of an onion!

Symptoms:
I've been getting a few dizzy spells, and had an episode where I had some flashy 'floaters' in my vision. Since it was just the one eye, my midwife was worried that it could be a detached retina, so I raced in to see the optometrist. Our best guess is that it was a combination of weird pregnancy symptoms, dehydration, and/or low blood sugar. Yay. Beats a detached retina any day!
Fatigue.
Rapidly expanding waistline.
Monster gas.
Weird Sci-Fi tummy hump that appears when I bend backwards. (Love it! In fact, all the freaky Sci-Fi stuff is my favorite!)

Pros:
It's much easier to clean out the inside of my belly-button... when I remember.
I can pooch my tummy out without shame.
Loving the freaky Sci-Fi tummy. Had to mention it again. I lean backward in the shower and replay scenes from "Alien" in my head. And imagine my belly being the back ridge of a dinosaur. Rawr!
Fewer unsightly facial hairs.
~No~ morning sickness. [I know. I'd hate me too.]

Cons:
Soooooo tired. I get up in the morning, and I already want a nap!
Since my blood volume is doubling (or has already?) the pads on the nose of my glasses now leave huge crater marks. Ugh. At least I'm not all swollen and grotesque [yet.]
Grey hair Apocalypse! It seems that when I reproduce, so do they! Man. This time I'm getting grey eyebrow hairs, armpit hair and pubes too! Aaaarghhhh! Why can't I have the lush, thick, glossy manes all the pregger books talk about? Ah well. If it's this or morning sickness, I'll cheerfully go grey!
Since I have fewer unsightly facial hairs, I forget to check as rigorously for them. And they seem to grow faster. So when I find one, it's freaky long! Yikes~!
Noxious gas. Seriously. I smoke myself out of the room! It smells like a dog pooped somewhere. Gag.

I've been wearing maternity pants for a while now, and it feels like way sooner than I did last time. My sister made some crack about my abdominal muscles being weak since they've never been exercised, and I refrained from asking her what, exactly, she had been doing to improve her abdominal wall. I seem to recall her waiting a year before biking or really doing much exercise at all.
But anyway, the 'fat pants' I used last time (one size larger than my normal) were a little tighter than I liked by the time I tried them. But the maternity pants are still too big. And pocketless. What? Pregnant ladies don't carry pocket change? We don't need a tissue handy for an older child? We are required by law to carry a purse at all times? Really? Why can't I have pockets?! (And sleeves, for that matter. Also, I would like a shirt that wasn't all about exposing my cleavage too. Is that really too much to ask?)